As both an OBGYN and mother of three who has supported countless women through birth trauma, I understand the weight that a negative birth experience can carry. The good news is that you can move forward and prepare for a more positive experience with your next birth. Here's my evidence-based approach for processing past birth trauma and setting yourself up for success:
First, acknowledge and validate your feelings about your previous birth. Whether you felt scared, frustrated, disappointed, or dehumanized - those emotions are real and valid. Your love for your child and your feelings about the birth experience can coexist separately.
Next, get clarity on exactly what happened medically. Request your labor and delivery records from the hospital (they're required to provide them) and review them with a provider. Understanding the specifics helps remove some of the fear of the unknown.
Finally, create a preparation and mitigation plan:
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Identify how you want to feel during your next birth
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Work with your provider to develop specific strategies to help achieve those feelings
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Make a list of things that can be done differently to reduce risks of complications
The key is finding a provider who makes you feel safe and heard. Don't hesitate to interview multiple practices and ask direct questions about their approach to birth trauma.
