As both a mom and an OBGYN, I've been on both sides of these conversations. I understand how challenging it can be to speak up during appointments, and I want to support you in advocating for yourself and your baby. Let me share some effective strategies to ensure your voice is heard.
Common Situations Where Patients Feel Unheard
- Morning Sickness Concerns
- What patients hear: "Morning sickness is normal in pregnancy"
- What patients think: "But I can't even keep water down and haven't eaten in days"
- How to advocate: "I understand morning sickness is normal, but this is impacting my quality of life. I can't keep any food down and I'm concerned about dehydration. What would indicate that this has become hyperemesis gravidarum?"
- Pelvic Pain
- What patients hear: "Some discomfort is expected"
- What patients think: "This feels different/worse than normal pregnancy pain"
- How to advocate: "I'm glad you believe this is normal, but what specific symptoms would indicate something more serious? And since this pain is affecting my ability to work/sleep, what options do we have for management?"
- Mental Health Concerns
- What patients hear: "Hormones can make you emotional"
- What patients think: "This feels more serious than just hormones"
- How to advocate: "I understand hormonal changes are normal, but these feelings are impacting my quality of life. Could we discuss screening for prenatal depression or anxiety?"
Why Patients Often Feel Hesitant to Speak Up
- Fear of being labeled "difficult" or "high-maintenance"
- Previous experiences of being dismissed
- Feeling rushed during appointments
- Worry about appearing uninformed
- Cultural or language barriers
- Power dynamics in the doctor-patient relationship
Why These Advocacy Phrases Work
- "I'm glad you believe this is normal..."
- Acknowledges the provider's expertise
- Opens dialogue rather than creating confrontation
- Shows you're engaged in your care
- Leads naturally into asking about warning signs
- "This is impacting my quality of life..."
- Uses medical terminology providers respond to
- Clearly communicates severity
- Shifts focus from "normal" to "problematic"
- Prompts action-oriented discussion
Additional Tips for Effective Communication
- Keep a symptom diary to track frequency and severity
- Bring a support person to appointments if needed
- Write down your questions beforehand
- Ask for clarification if you don't understand something
- Request a follow-up appointment if needed
- Consider seeking a second opinion if consistently dismissed
Remember, you are never "annoying" for advocating for yourself and your baby. Your concerns are valid, and you have the right to comprehensive care and clear answers. Having been through pregnancy myself, I understand the importance of feeling heard and supported during this journey.
The goal is to build a collaborative relationship with your healthcare provider where you feel heard, respected, and confident in your care plan. Don't let fear of being perceived as difficult prevent you from speaking up about your health concerns.
